SO…(see, there’s that word again! Im telling you, I start every blog with it) Ive been dealing with something really horrible lately…definitely nothing Ive ever dealt with before….not even close. But before I tell you that, I have to tell you that my favorite question was the very first one from Michelle.  I was asked “What one person, dead or alive I would want to meet?”  Everyone talked about this one and we all had different answers.  I even changed my mind a bunch of times but here is my answer: Oprah Winfrey.  Ok, so that is no shocker because I have said that before.  I think now though it might be better if Oprah and I ‘meet’ on Facebook seeing as she probably won’t understand my talking! I will message you directly about the prize I promised.

Ok, back to what I have been ‘dealing with lately’. A lot of people close to me have been say I am being MEAN. For example, the other day I told my mom to “Shut Up!” She said it was completely disrespectful and she will not allow her kids to talk to her that way at any age. Yeah, well when you put it that way mom…she is right.  I am sure I never said that to her when I was a kid. She said I am being mean to her in other things I say too. Now what?! Ive never really been called mean. And she isn’t the only one. My sister also called me mean, but that was a while ago.  She doesn’t really have the chance to call me ANYTHING anymore since SHE left and lives in California. Ok, so she came back for Thanksgiving and that was a non-mean holiday visit but STILL!  AND my brother called me mean. Man! All these people close to me saying it, it must be at least a little true, right? I admit they are probably kind of right.  Well, I am not sure that ‘Mean’ is the right word but until I figure it out I am sure they would agree that what I really am is CRABBY. I also know, that I used to care about not being mean to my family, especially my mom but this stupid brain injury is messing that all up!  Thankfully we all know that and we still like each other plenty.  If only I could remember how to be less crabby all the time.     

Welp, for me, recently, there is good news AND bad news. The good news is that Chris is home and that is VERY good news. The bad news is my brother Dylan and his girlfriend Charlene left for South Africa.  Dylan won’t be home until March and Charlene…well I don’t have ANY idea when she will return.  She has become my family so its just as bad when she goes.  And you know my sister Cheyenne left for LA a few months ago. Sure she came back for a visit with her boyfriend Craig who we all really like but then they left again!  And NONE of them will be here for Christmas. The only one I want to leave is Miley and, yep, just checked…STILL HERE!

I do NOT like not having my family here: First Cheye, now Dylan and Charlene. AND YOU PEOPLE WONDER WHY I AM SO CRABBY??!!

So question time: what is the ONE thing that makes you super crabby and how do you stop yourself from being mean to people when you are?  (Hopefully your answer includes chocolate and  I can convince my mom to try that).



12/09/2013 5:40am

when I'm crabby, I count my blessings <3

12/09/2013 7:53am

Chocolate AND wine helps me not to be crabby. I know you have wine Wednesdays. They actually make a chocolate wine - problem solved!!!

12/09/2013 11:52am

well,I didnt know THAT(about chocolate wine)thanks a lot,no I want some!

12/09/2013 8:12am

I do yoga

12/09/2013 3:35pm

no WAY!my mom loves yoga and is always trying to get me to ddo it with her but I just don't want to.cant really put into words why...

12/09/2013 8:39am

Two major things that make me mean and crabby a re: 1.) I have been in a lot of pain lately with my good arm which as you know is my lifeline to everything! I have to stop and say, "Ellyn, people can't see your pain, so don't take it out on them!" 2.) When my family does things together and I can't be there because it is just to hard for one reason or another, but again that is not there fault and they have lives to live too! Chocolate helps for a moment or too, but then I'm crabby at myself! :-) Music helps me!

12/09/2013 9:44am

I think the thing that makes me the crabbiest is if I don't see one of my children for long periods of time...especially my son as my girls live near me but he does not. He says I get crabby on the phone with him if too much time has gone by. I am told that when people disagree with me I get crabby but I think that is a lie LOL

12/09/2013 10:38am

I have learned over the years that sometimes I try to hard to make everyone happy, then when I of course fail at always keeping everyone happy I end up crabby and then making everyone miserable. I have to remind myself that I am loved by many no matter what I do or don't do for them. Reminding myself how much I am loved and how much I have to be grateful for makes me feel better. And a little chocolate helps on a particularly bad day ;-) Missing loved ones is very hard, this I know. You'll get through, but I hope your wait isn't to long. *hugs*

12/09/2013 10:57am

I am so super crabby in the morning and i havent found a solution to it yet, so untill i do, my family just have to live with it. 'stop being so grumpy' just hasnt really worked.

12/09/2013 11:40am

Stress makes me crabby. To help, I think of my life before it was hectic and how I wished for all the things/people I have today and that puts it all into perspective.

12/09/2013 8:04pm

is this my aunt Maida?

12/09/2013 1:56pm

Hey Juli, I'm never crabby, I'm funny( I try). I know in going to see you once a week, and I get my Starbucks and therefore I'm always happy.

12/10/2013 11:19am

Carla,you don't seem like youd ever be crabby.awwwww.if awwww,then I SUCK!!

12/09/2013 3:01pm

When My husband leaves he is gone for months to a year and it makes me crabby and unfortunately to the people I don't want to, my daughters. I find writing things down helps me to be less crabby and not take it out on the ones I love. Venting on paper is a good thing then I throw it away. ( a side of chocolate while writing is good!)

12/10/2013 11:54am

yay,someone else's significant other leaves,and theyput up withit!

12/11/2013 9:47pm

my mom just told me this is my cousin Sheri.hi Sheri!nd come visit.

12/09/2013 5:57pm

I have a diary App on my iPhone. I have a passcode so nobody can read it. I vent on there. I like sweets and wine too.

Vickey Lynn
12/09/2013 6:01pm

Hey Juliana, when I'm crabby I listen to music that makes me feel happy. Maybe even watch some videos on Youtube. Nickelback is great, but I'm sure you know a certain Chris Medina song that will put a huge smile on your face. :-) XXX

12/09/2013 8:46pm

I get crabby and mean when my husband cannot clean the way I like it. I am super organized and he says he is trying, but I have been nagging him for at least 5 or 6 years now and things just don't change. I have tried asking him in a nice way, but no matter which way I ask him or nag him, it never gets done. Some days I just let things go because I feel like I sound like a broken record! I hope one day he cleans it right though. But I try to destress by working out or listening to music or taking a walk. Anything to just calm down.

12/10/2013 12:27am

Juli I get crabby whenni don't eat!!! You know how ththat goes.. and II wish I could be around yoy all the time!!

12/10/2013 2:07pm

funny Cheye,so does momm y (get crabby hen she doesn't eat)well actually,it isn't funny AT ALL!

12/10/2013 4:34am

Hey Juliana, I just found your blog after finding out about your story on YouTube! I am so glad you're doing so much better! I can't explain how much it means to me. My mom once had encephalitis, which is an inflammation of the brain. The doctors didn't know what would happen, but in the end she recovered completely! I love you and I wish you all the best!!

12/10/2013 9:48am

I am crabby when I am in pain. How can you not be. I get crabby when I see parents taking advantage of their children, especially if the child cannot fend for herself. I get crabby when a step-parent lies and takes advantage of his stepchildren for his own personal gain. I get crabby when adults can't behave themselves...

12/10/2013 6:49pm

Wow Jane. sounds like you are trying to say something more here

pat westergren
12/10/2013 10:54am

I get crabby for some of the same reasons- when I haven't seen the people I love in a while. And because I have no control over it, and there's just nothing I can do about it, I have to let it go. But I still miss them.

Cynthia from Canada
12/10/2013 11:17am

Hi Juliana!
So love your blog! I am "crabby" in the morning, at night, whenever really....and "crabby" is in quotations because my husband has other choice words for it...I'll just leave it at that. As far as what I do when in those moods, nothing really, after all we are human and should have good and bad moods that is what makes us human right? I just sometimes have to remind myself not to fall permanently into pure negative mode and find some sort of look on the brighter side moment in the darkness. I think you are amazing and wanted to tell you how much my heart warms to see how far you have come. You really inspire me thank you for things you will never know.

12/10/2013 2:34pm

I am the most crabby when I haven't had enough sleep. My fiancee calls me a "grumpapotomous" LOL I cant help that I jut love my sleep so much! Music usually helps, I try to have little dance parties, even if I am the only one dancing! :) Add some chocolate and caramel frappes in there, and it makes for a better perspective!

12/10/2013 4:01pm

I just think that.. those people are the ones that stay with me when no one else is.. so it's a kind of a good reason to be kind to them. I just cant think that way when I'm HUNGRY!! :p

Love you Juliana.. and the way your family loves you :)

12/10/2013 4:34pm

When ever I am crabby I can usually blow off some steam by cooking. It's a great distraction and then at the end you get food! So maybe next time I cook over there, you can help and see if that works!

12/13/2013 12:07pm

maybe.maybe not.I think just eating your food might be a better idea since youre SUCH a good cook!

Linda D'Angelo
12/11/2013 12:52pm

Awww Juli.. We all get crabby sometimes... I think I like the word crabby better than mean <3 You are loved <3

Sandy M
12/11/2013 5:36pm

I get very stressed and crabby when I have to call a utility like the phone company and all I get are recordings and you can't get through to anyone. Sooooo frustrating!

12/12/2013 3:05pm

How do you feel today

12/13/2013 4:09am

Hi! I´m still waiting for the video you promised in your last blog. =)

About the crabby thing, I also vote for yoga since it relaxes both body and mind and makes you calm and smooth. =)

12/13/2013 9:56pm

well I HAVE thought aout doing yoga befoe.as much as I don't want to,I knw it would make my mom happy and I REALLY like to make her happy!

Joseph Guilly
12/13/2013 1:04pm

Just come till God, I'm sure, he will help you a lot. Just be relax.

God bless you!!!

12/18/2013 6:18pm

I would just like to bring attention to something-this whole page talks about wine,and its wine Wednesday!!!

12/21/2013 3:02am

Dear Juliana,

I do not think I am ever "mean". I don't have it in me, and I'm certain you are not "mean" as well. When I am "crabby" or get tense with people it is due to a few reasons:

1. When I do not feel the sense of control that I want to feel, I get frustrated and my words sound harsher than they should.

2. I get upset when I am judged. I would like to be accepted for who I am.

3. I can be harsh when I worry about my children, my job or finances.

To cope, I gather my strength to do something nice for someone else. Not only do they feel great, but I feel special too.

I was recently feeling down about things and thought about a teenager I know with Autism. I decided to write her a note to tell her how special and wonderful she is.

She was so happy and proud she shared the note with her family, and then they were All happy! I then felt good about myself and was no longer sad.

Lastly, from a clinical point of view, for most of your family to agree you are being "mean", I would set up a doctor appointment and tell the doctor there has been a change in your personality. The doctor might be able to pin-point what is wrong and help you, then you and your whole Family would feel better.

I wish you peace and happiness for the Holidays!

Warm Regards,

12/30/2013 1:30am

Abby, I enjoyed reading your post and I agree with you. Juliana, I think we all have days when we are cranky. To me, mean is not the same thing as cranky. Mean to me, means that you have the INTENTION to hurt someone's feelings or do not care if you do. If this is happening, it is usually more about YOU than the person you are being mean to.

I think people are mean to others because they are angry or frustrated with themselves. The anger and bitterness builds like a volcano so it is going to explode. The mean words are it exploding. It is likely the person did nothing wrong, they were just the person who happened to be near you. In order to fix being mean, you need to deal with what you feel deep inside.
You have many things that frustrate you, so it is understandable that you hit a point where you need to blow off steam. Those you love usually get the nasty side of us because we know they will still love us. In order to stop being mean you need to get your stress level down. Once you are more at peace inside your soul, you will be more peaceful and happy. It takes an effort, but the payoff is that you will no longer be hurting those you love.
The absolute best way, guaranteed to work, plan is this. Step outside of your own head...sounds funny I know. Look around you and see who is having a hard day. Give it some thought and do something nice for them. It could be fancy, like ordering them flowers. It could be free, simple and meaningful. Write them a card telling them how much you love them and what they mean to you. It will make BOTH of you feel lifted and amazing! Just try to think before you say something nasty, count to 3 and breathe, then walk away. I know you have a big heart so you do not want to be mean. You are asking for help, so that is huge already. God Bless. <3

Lori Hudson
01/02/2014 1:25pm

Feeling bad & worrying makes me real crabby.I pray a lot. I know worrying doesn't do any good. But it's hard not to worry about your kids.I have learned the hard way though to bite my tongue & think before I open my mouth because you can't take back what you say. I'm so proud of you Juliana for how far you come. Praying you will continue to get better each & everyday. <3 Saying prayers & God Bless you ;)

Tara C
01/18/2015 6:25pm

I get crabby when I have PMS!

05/11/2015 9:17am

Great post. my friend! Continue reading!


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