Now, I don’t wanna sound…I don’t know-conceited, but we were feeling the impact of fame more than ever before on our relationship. I’m scared that people won’t really understand and be kinda mad because they had such high hopes for us. Well, so did I! I mean, I had thought we would get married too (like all engaged couples DO, CHRIS), HAVE KIDS, and live happily ever after. I still want all of that-REALLY BAD! Its just not how things are now.
But heres the thing: Even though we are technically “broken up “nothing about our relationship seems different. I guess its kinda confusing because we still kiss and hug and go out to eat and spend a lot of time talking on Facebook. And when hes home we spend a lot of time together. See? Not much different! Now I HATE(despise,really) that he comes and goes because of work (Im sure you’ve all seen my “countdowns “on Facebook), but that was the same when we WERE engaged because…hey, I want that music recorded as much as anybody! And even though we’re “broken up”, he still takes me out and everything. And I just really do want him to be happy. You all know I think he’s a good guy and he really is my soul-mate (a title we upgraded to from ‘best-friends’).
But, I also, personally, want him to just be happy again and move beyond the situation that HE didn’t even cause. I love him and our relationship so if this is what soul mates feels like, I am good! If he needs more, even though I AM classically jealous and I’m not sure how I’ll handle THAT I can still love him and he can still love me.
So don’t be mad, or disappointed, or whatever you might be that is bad because there isn’t just married or not married and this sucks for everyone but not because its bad but just because it isn’t what we planned. So what? Its what we have. There is not just ONE kind of love. I have friends in same sex marriages and their love is not any less LOVE. Neither is our “not getting married-soul mates forever love”.
I mean, we might even change our minds again one day. AND I SURE wouldn’t hesitate to go back to that with him because he is SUCH a GREAT guy. He really treats me fantastic. But Im sure any regular blog readers know THAT.
I love you Chris, the same as always even if it has a different name.
The question for YOU is...dun dun duhhhhh…are you still interested in us?